$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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