Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
