The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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