shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
