And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize