hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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