So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
