i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
