All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
