He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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