help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
