she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
