My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Non-Jews are for practice
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
