do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
