Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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