He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
