it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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