if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
