great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
love makes seman taste better
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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