Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
vagina is talking i cant
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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