Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
