He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
