I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize