im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
