she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
