so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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