So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
