All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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