If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize