when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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