At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
