Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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