I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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