I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
