When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
