I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
