You're so nebulous sometimes
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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