Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
