1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
