I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
