singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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