About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
