Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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