I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize