I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
