he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
