Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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