just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
