I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
