I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
