So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
