i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
