ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I party with great urgency now.
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