it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
