it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
