mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
