you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
