Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
