I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
