she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
