this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
