She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
