Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
