the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
