Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize