genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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