Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
