I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
