It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize