One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
