What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
