I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
