dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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