Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
