my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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