if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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