wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
