dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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