I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
