so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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