I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
